My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
