CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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