She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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