sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
