How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
do nipples grow back?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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