if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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