I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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