You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
