I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
