Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry melissab2005 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(607): View more from New York

i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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(504): View more from Louisiana

So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.

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(251): View more from Alabama

My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

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(970): View more from Colorado

I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog

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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.

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