your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
