is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
