im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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