what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
