I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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