we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
