He kissed a someone with a penis
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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