She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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