alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
