i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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