the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
