dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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