I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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