1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
