If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
