so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
