how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
