I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
