Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
