i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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