last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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