Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
did i walk over a car last night?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
