I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
