5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
