last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize