i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i've created a new STD.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
