If i come over, it means nothing
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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