oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
