do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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