This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
