they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just had sex on a roof
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
