Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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