I wannas sexs uuuuu
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
