I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screwed.edu
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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