I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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