Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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