oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
