Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
