You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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