WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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