you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize