Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
