My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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