fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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