WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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