nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize